A woman’s plight?

Striving for gender equality has become a socially acceptable concept, but despite all the progress made, the fact remains that in some areas, men and women are still perceived quite differently. Particularly as it relates to the eligibility of a person to attract a spouse, the general consensus seems to be that women fall sharply out of demand after their mid-thirties, while men presumably only get better with age.

Is this the view of all Caribbean citizens or even the world?

With ageing being an inevitable process for all human beings, this exponential decline is most likely distressing and depressing to many women, if their age is to be used as the sole barometer of their attractiveness.

Yes, it is true that a high percentage of beauty advertisements are targeted towards women and it is also true that women are more concerned with their looks. Much more women than men turn to plastic surgery to get the look they desire. We seem to have a culture that holds women to a standard of sleekness, top-of-the-line physiques and of airbrushed images. It lends to the well-researched notion that women are extremely competitive with each other. We are often resolved to “fight” for our men.

One must also wonder: Does this magical figure of 35 have anything to do with the average childbearing years of a woman, while a man usually has more time to be fruitful and multiply? Could it be that, subconsciously, people link beauty, happiness and security with the ability to bear children? Perhaps.

So while women are seen to be racing against the biological clock, men have the luxury of time on their side. In addition, they do not seem to be scrutinised quite so heavily on their appearance. This is perhaps borne out in the common sight of ‘May-December’ couples, with the older party usually being the man. Notwithstanding the other circumstances that may be involved in the pairing of couples with large age gaps, why is this circumstance so skewed on one side?

By buying into this somehow widespread view – that a woman’s attractiveness exponentially declines and, irrespective of a natural similar decline of physique in a man, her captivating days are over while his remain in tact – we help to perpetuate a warped view and occurrence. We simply say, “that is just how it is”, go on with our lives and let this inequality go on.

There is some good evidence to suggest that such blunt statements from men may stem from the fact that they rather like this inequality.

No, it is not fair. Many things in this world are not fair but we should always look to turn around the inequality however and whenever we can. If we do nothing about it, the issue will continue and never have a chance to become fair.

Many couples meet and fall in love in the middle and latter stages of their lives. Many forty-somethings have attested to the fact that it was at that time in their lives they knew exactly who and what they wanted, and saw the world in a different way than when they were in their twenties.

No woman should feel as though she has to acknowledge a constant ticking from a clock that counts down to the end of her ability to attract a partner – a signal that looms with impending doom. But alas, “that is life”.